surgery scrapbook

lucky for me, things get time stamped.

like facebook posts.

and tweets.

and the photos i take on my phone.

this miracle of technology will allow me to recover in peace, not having to stress out about when i did what in order to keep a good record.

i think it'd be quite personally interesting to later see a compilation of all my photos, tweets, FB posts, etc. of my time here in thailand.

like a scrapbook. a digital one.

i'm a very time-oriented person. i like to remember what year things happened in my life. but i can usually remember when events happened to the month.

my experience with surgery in thailand will only span 3 weeks. a year from now i won't remember the order of things so well (cuz my brain only gets specific to the month).

i'm grateful for time stamps.

oh and by the way—it's been a week since surgery and i'm doing well! my stitches came out today, and tomorrow i'll start dilation.

but, i've got a real pain in my ass.

literally.

i've got bed sore on my bum-bum from not being able to lie on my side for 4+ days. now i HAVE to lie on my side (at least i have 2. sides, that is.).

and i'm typing this from a modified "orz" position: on my knees, leaning forward on my elbows typing.

and it's getting old (aka my back and shoulders don't like this position) so i'm gonna lie down on my side for a while.

someday soon i'll give you the REAL skinny on how surgery and recovery have been. (^_~)

hormone-less days, sleepless nights

another blog post is definitely in order.

oh.

MY.

GOD.

surgery is like, WAY soon.

let's see...it's currently friday morning (in japan)? i'm having surgery in three days. THREE DAYS.

without a doubt, i'm excited / nervous / happy / terrified.

you know that feeling you have before you give a big speech? you know, where your heart feels a little weak and your tummy is all kinds of unsettled? yeah, that feeling is not going away. (◉д◉;)

and i get the sense that i won't really feel better until i wake up after surgery, when ironically, i'll actually be in real pain (unless i'm still pretty doped up?).

ok, to be fair, writing this has taken the edge off a bit.

maybe i just need to have a good scream?

one sec....



hmm, screaming into a pillow is not as stress relieving as i had hoped. :-/

wait a minute....maybe it's hormones (or lack thereof)!

yeah! hmm, that could definitely be a contributor here...

you see, the thing is—the doctor told me to stop taking hormones two weeks before surgery. and that was a week and a half ago.

maybe my body is less able to manage / channel stress without any hormones! i think i like that theory.

yeah. we'll go with that.


oh and it's been taking me almost 3 hours to fall asleep every night this week. which kinda blows.

we'll blame that one on lack of hormones too. :D



am i having second thoughts / some sort of crisis?

no.

surgery just scares me. not so much the idea of surgery, but the reality of it.

and it's really just three days away! (^o^)

my lifelong crush

so.

i have this growing suspicion that i have a crush on myself.

i do photograph myself a lot....

with thanks to the san jose mercury news

a legal name change is in the works.

what once was benjamin daniel shall soon be samantha claire.

in california, to legally change your name you have to publish your intent to change your name in a local newspaper for 4 straight weeks.

the san jose mercury news was happy to oblige.

for about 80 bucks they published a little blurb looking like this:

pretty fancy, eh?

now, the funny thing is, my court date is one day after my surgery in thailand. i couldn't really do anything about that since no earlier court dates were available. luckily, i don't actually have to be there in person. or so says the court clerk.

anyway, once it all goes through, i'll have the magical adventure of trying to change all my documentation while living outside the u.s.

my passport won't be too difficult. maybe we'll start there.

but then i gotta change my social security card, my birth certificate, my driver's license, and bank accounts. (>_<)

one thing at a time. one thing at a time.

in two months...

i'm getting surgery!



...you know, SRS.


...it stands for "sex reassignment surgery"...


...as in a sex change.

*finally clicks*


(wooo!)> \(^o^)/

o(^▽^)o <(hooray!)

(congratz!)> d(^-^)b

o(>.<)o <(good luck!)


thanks, guys!


on july 15th i'll go under the knife in thailand, under the care of dr. kamol.

i've known for a while that i wanted to have surgery, but when and where has been a pretty big question.

after researching a number of doctors, i settled on dr. kamol for a few reasons.


1) four of my coworkers had surgery from him, and they all gave a really positive recommendation.

2) dr. kamol has a lot of experience. and i've found mainly positive reviews of him.

3) the hospital is in thailand, which isn't that far from japan.

4) it's affordable, but not so cheap that you would feel uneasy.

5) dr. kamol and his hospital staff deal with english-speakers and japanese-speakers on a regular basis.


so, yeah! i'm pretty excited. (^-^) super excited, in fact!

but as the date draws closer, i'm sure anxiety will set in (~_~;)


(^o^)/ ciao!

new youtube video!

lot's been goin' on.

i've just gone on indefinite holiday from work. i hope i can start up again within three months.

i'll be back in the states for about 2 months starting next wednesday. i'm gonna spend time with family. also, i hope to FINALLY change my name legally while i'm there. (^o^)

i'm moving this saturday. i'll still be in nagoya—just a different neighborhood :D

i went to tokyo last weekend. i went to osaka yesterday. i may go to mie prefecture in the next few days. whew!

on my way back from tokyo, i spend part of the day with a new friend. her name is misaki. she has a really popular blog, which is how i originally met her. well, thanks to her i've recommitted myself to voice practice (developing a more feminine voice).

here are the results of day 1:

tell me whatcha think! (^-^)


~sami

maybe i should write a book...

...about working as a hostess / show dancer at a tranny club in japan.

i'm pretty sure i'd be the first one to do it.

oh, and hello again. i'm alive :D

writing more

now i don't really like double posting.

but it may come to that.


my japanese blog has been getting a lot of love and attention from me since i started it in december (17 posts already), while tanuki talk's posts have been short and somewhat infrequent.

if i were to double post (repost english versions of japanese blog updates) that would make this place feel a little less lonely.

but it's a pain.

and there are some things i'd rather deal with and think about in japanese. or maybe that's bullshit and i'm just talking nonsense. it is past my bedtime...


no. it's a no.

with apologies to those of you who can't read japanese, i'm just gonna keep things fluid, which means keeping the blog posts mutually exclusive.

but!

i do want to write on here more.

let's brainstorm some potential topics to write on:

cars. what? why? nevermind. next.

food. that's a safe one i guess. recipes? dining out? ooo, maybe i could do a nagoya cuisine special!

fashion. i'm definitely an idiot when it comes to styles and fashion. so maybe i could research and write about it as a learning tool for myself?

transgender issues. an obvious one, yes. but it's something i know a lot about and can write a lot about.

ok. good enough for now.

bed time!

sami the klutz

so i happen to be a really big klutz.

i broke a glass pitcher at work today.
i'm in a constant state of almost falling over when i wear heels.
and i do this:

all those cuts on my legs? they're from the opposite foot's heel. when navigating narrow walkways, stepping over things, or even when sitting down and standing up i get cut by my heels. (T__T)

maybe it was a bad idea to start with 4-inch heels. (^_^;)

none of your business cards

i got my business cards today :D

tada!

i'm a little sad it only has my english name (my japanese name is written as "永瀬 サミー"). and that i chose red lipstick. it's a bit much, considering how much they whitened my skin. (^o^) but overall, i'm happy with the result.


work is going well. i feel like i'm starting to get the hang of things. and it's getting easier to walk in heels. pretty soon i'll be a total pro (^-^)

until next time!

~sami

transitional employment

because of my new hostess job, i had to quit my part-time gig at the café last week.

it was hard to leave. though i only started that job 4 months ago, i've had a lot of fond memories there.

i made new friends (mostly coworkers), drank and served a lot of coffee, talked to tons of people, played around with gender expression, acted as receptionist, and helped put together a cocktail party.

oh, and sometimes i cooked things.

or baked:

it was a nice four months. and it was exactly what i needed.

sayonara, MER (my english room)!