in case you needed it...

some clarification:

1) i'm not yet "going girl" full-time. i'll have to build up to this, which includes some very important steps (in order):

• doing things in public as a girl, with friends. movies, groceries, restaurants, etc.

• doing things in public as a girl, alone. movies, groceries, restaurants, etc.

• talking to HR at my work. at my current job i might have to get transferred if i want to present as female at work. i'm pretty nervous about this, so it might be a while before i do anything about it.

this isn't to say that i don't want to go full-time, it just takes more than a week to get there. ^o^

2) there's more to my life than simply being trans. i'm not sure if i need to say this more for you or more for me. my last couple blog posts (this one included) have been pretty trans-heavy. i don't see it as a new direction for the blog. nor do i see this as a "new" me. rather, it's just an indication of what's been blog-worthy in my life lately.

and for those of you who may be concerned that i'm no longer the same 'ben' you used know, i say this—after i got home from meeting with my therapist yesterday, i did nothing but play WoW, drink beer, and eat pizza. how very unladylike of me! (shame on you for clinging to arbitrary social gender norms!)

i feel the need to salvage this post into something more than just a trans-rant, but i'm drawing a blank right now.

here's a post photo shoot picture of me:

this is the corner where i had the sheets hung up as my backdrop. i don't know what that funny spot to the upper left of my head is—must be a weird lens flare. i consider this my "boi" look. still a bit made up. still wearing girl pants (as so many boys do anyway). this is about the limit to how manly i feel. ever.