a few hours after my last post i got a phone call from my future manager with a few more job details:
while i don't have a specific date yet for moving, i've been told that it'll likely be early april. also, i was a few cities off. i'll be in hitachinaka, which is two towns south of hitachi. it's about 2/3 the population of hitachi but twice as dense.
and because i'm moving pretty soon, i'm going to have a free yard sale sometime in the next month. i'll make a page with pictures and descriptions of all items and put it on the left side bar.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
hot off the press!
i have news, news, news, and more news.
1) i passed the jlpt (level 2)!
apparently you only needed to score 19 out of 60 in each section (three sections) and have an overall score above 90 to pass. i'm glad my certificate for getting 60% looks the same as someone who got 100% ^o^
and congrats to sara (my california road trip buddy) who also passed!
2) i'm going to hitachi!
i just found out that my upcoming job in japan (next month? or april?) will be in hitachi, which, despite not being tokyo, i'm totally ok with. it's the 115th largest city in japan with a population around 200,000. that means it's about the size of tacoma, but about half as dense. it's a 2 1/2 hour train ride from tokyo, making weekend trips to the city both affordable (~$25 each way standard fare) and fairly convenient. in a year or so i'd like to move to tokyo, but in the mean time i'll get to enjoy the countryside a bit ^-^
3) i've started hormones and am doing biweekly electrolysis. (<--- the pain involved in electrolysis made me forgo an exclamation mark on this news point)
i haven't noticed any changes due to hormones yet, but it has only been two weeks. i was at least expecting some mood changes by now. but i shouldn't complain about my current state of emotional stability :P
electrolysis: simultaneously more painful and less painful than i had anticipated. some areas i barely feel any pain at all, while others make me wince pretty bad. no tears yet, but i think there will be plenty once we get to the mustache area and the neck.
oh, and the most annoying thing about electrolysis? you have to go a few days without shaving before a treatment. i shave on sunday, get zapped on tuesday, and then again on thursday. if i'm lucky my face will feel healed enough by friday night to shave again, which means i can only be clean shaven on the weekends. and when do i work? weekends. :( so i'm currently not in a great position to go out in public en femme very often.
here's a pic (i had electro yesterday afternoon):
my webcam doesn't take fabulous pictures, but you can kind of see how i have prominent stubble below the red circle, whereas inside the circle looks pretty clean. after 6 sessions, i've had my whole sideburn area and cheekbone area zapped down to about where the jaw curves on both sides of my face.
i'm not sure how much i'll get done by the time i leave for japan :-/ at this point i may be lucky to just clear my face once.
4) i deleted WoW and got bored of playing n64 games.
i think after my weekend binge on majora's mask i'm done with single player games for a while. but i'm still going to game night (tuesday night LAN parties), of course. now i might actually read all the manga i bought back in december!
1) i passed the jlpt (level 2)!
apparently you only needed to score 19 out of 60 in each section (three sections) and have an overall score above 90 to pass. i'm glad my certificate for getting 60% looks the same as someone who got 100% ^o^
and congrats to sara (my california road trip buddy) who also passed!
2) i'm going to hitachi!
i just found out that my upcoming job in japan (next month? or april?) will be in hitachi, which, despite not being tokyo, i'm totally ok with. it's the 115th largest city in japan with a population around 200,000. that means it's about the size of tacoma, but about half as dense. it's a 2 1/2 hour train ride from tokyo, making weekend trips to the city both affordable (~$25 each way standard fare) and fairly convenient. in a year or so i'd like to move to tokyo, but in the mean time i'll get to enjoy the countryside a bit ^-^
3) i've started hormones and am doing biweekly electrolysis. (<--- the pain involved in electrolysis made me forgo an exclamation mark on this news point)
i haven't noticed any changes due to hormones yet, but it has only been two weeks. i was at least expecting some mood changes by now. but i shouldn't complain about my current state of emotional stability :P
electrolysis: simultaneously more painful and less painful than i had anticipated. some areas i barely feel any pain at all, while others make me wince pretty bad. no tears yet, but i think there will be plenty once we get to the mustache area and the neck.
oh, and the most annoying thing about electrolysis? you have to go a few days without shaving before a treatment. i shave on sunday, get zapped on tuesday, and then again on thursday. if i'm lucky my face will feel healed enough by friday night to shave again, which means i can only be clean shaven on the weekends. and when do i work? weekends. :( so i'm currently not in a great position to go out in public en femme very often.
here's a pic (i had electro yesterday afternoon):
my webcam doesn't take fabulous pictures, but you can kind of see how i have prominent stubble below the red circle, whereas inside the circle looks pretty clean. after 6 sessions, i've had my whole sideburn area and cheekbone area zapped down to about where the jaw curves on both sides of my face.
i'm not sure how much i'll get done by the time i leave for japan :-/ at this point i may be lucky to just clear my face once.
4) i deleted WoW and got bored of playing n64 games.
i think after my weekend binge on majora's mask i'm done with single player games for a while. but i'm still going to game night (tuesday night LAN parties), of course. now i might actually read all the manga i bought back in december!
5) i'm now accepting donations to fund more electrolysis (so i could do 3 or 4 times a week).
everyone wins. if you like me, it's a chance to help me out. if you don't like me, you at least get to cause me some intense facial pain.
ciao!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
my gay rant
as i was walking home from work today i did some thinking. on sexuality.
i grew up in a culture that views homosexuality as immoral. and it follows that if something is immoral, it stems from a personal *wrong* choice. like the following examples:
murder? immoral. manslaughter? unfortunate, but not immoral.
stealing? immoral. mistaking someone else's bag for yours at the airport? not immoral.
i'm thinking that if everyone recognized that homosexuality is NOT a choice they'd have a hard time seeing it as immoral—assuming they believe in a just god.
sure, there's the argument that homosexual attraction isn't immoral, while homosexual behavior is. in which case, behavior is the choice, and the attraction is beyond one's control.
so, even though a healthy intimate relationship is considered to be one of humanity's greatest sources of happiness, it's immoral to strive for that if you're gay?
no one should have to hide who they are and how they feel from their partner/spouse. a gay man marrying a straight woman IS NOT his best chance for happiness.
homosexuality isn't immoral. gay people aren't ruining marriage.
why this tirade? well, i've been thinking about my own sexuality a lot. and i've been using the label bisexual, but i think in reality i'm pansexual. i've been attracted to women and men, but i think the person is more important to me than the gender. while i most often am attracted to women (making me a lesbian?), i recognize that relationship compatibility for me has less to do with equipment, and more to do with personality—and not simply "masculine" versus "feminine" personality differences.
i'd like to be accepted and loved for who i am. and i think everyone else deserves the same.
and if you feel homosexuality (or anything other than heterosexuality) is immoral, i invite you to do a little mental exercise:
imagine that you are gay. you don't want to be. but you are. you find members of your own gender to be attractive, while members of the opposite sex are either repulsive to you, or simply nothing special. you'd probably try pretty hard not to be gay. but at some point you'd realize that you need to choose. happiness in intimate relationships or social/religious acceptance. most people never have to make that choice. doesn't it suck that you do? choosing the acceptance of society or what's moral from a religious standpoint is nothing short of repressing your own feelings. maybe you're good at it. but it will eat away at you your entire life. you'll be lucky to make it through and feel any sort of inner peace and contentment. now what if you made the other choice? you might lose family and friends. you might make yourself the target of violence. you might make yourself the target of general ridicule from society. but you'd also be choosing to embrace something that is part of you. you'd be choosing to live an honest life, one in which you wouldn't have to keep secrets. you'd be choosing to try for happiness.
so what'll it be? outward stability with inner turmoil? or the opposite: inner peace with outside sources of harm? not an easy choice. i hope you can at least sympathize with people in this position, and not demonize them.
sorry for the heavy tone in this post, but i'm very passionate about issues of gender and sexuality. and i wish we all loved each other a little more.
p.s. if you happen to disagree with me, that's ok. you can believe what you want to believe. i'll try to be understanding, but i just hope you realize that we all choose our belief systems, but we do not choose who we are sexually attracted to.
i grew up in a culture that views homosexuality as immoral. and it follows that if something is immoral, it stems from a personal *wrong* choice. like the following examples:
murder? immoral. manslaughter? unfortunate, but not immoral.
stealing? immoral. mistaking someone else's bag for yours at the airport? not immoral.
i'm thinking that if everyone recognized that homosexuality is NOT a choice they'd have a hard time seeing it as immoral—assuming they believe in a just god.
sure, there's the argument that homosexual attraction isn't immoral, while homosexual behavior is. in which case, behavior is the choice, and the attraction is beyond one's control.
so, even though a healthy intimate relationship is considered to be one of humanity's greatest sources of happiness, it's immoral to strive for that if you're gay?
no one should have to hide who they are and how they feel from their partner/spouse. a gay man marrying a straight woman IS NOT his best chance for happiness.
homosexuality isn't immoral. gay people aren't ruining marriage.
why this tirade? well, i've been thinking about my own sexuality a lot. and i've been using the label bisexual, but i think in reality i'm pansexual. i've been attracted to women and men, but i think the person is more important to me than the gender. while i most often am attracted to women (making me a lesbian?), i recognize that relationship compatibility for me has less to do with equipment, and more to do with personality—and not simply "masculine" versus "feminine" personality differences.
i'd like to be accepted and loved for who i am. and i think everyone else deserves the same.
and if you feel homosexuality (or anything other than heterosexuality) is immoral, i invite you to do a little mental exercise:
imagine that you are gay. you don't want to be. but you are. you find members of your own gender to be attractive, while members of the opposite sex are either repulsive to you, or simply nothing special. you'd probably try pretty hard not to be gay. but at some point you'd realize that you need to choose. happiness in intimate relationships or social/religious acceptance. most people never have to make that choice. doesn't it suck that you do? choosing the acceptance of society or what's moral from a religious standpoint is nothing short of repressing your own feelings. maybe you're good at it. but it will eat away at you your entire life. you'll be lucky to make it through and feel any sort of inner peace and contentment. now what if you made the other choice? you might lose family and friends. you might make yourself the target of violence. you might make yourself the target of general ridicule from society. but you'd also be choosing to embrace something that is part of you. you'd be choosing to live an honest life, one in which you wouldn't have to keep secrets. you'd be choosing to try for happiness.
so what'll it be? outward stability with inner turmoil? or the opposite: inner peace with outside sources of harm? not an easy choice. i hope you can at least sympathize with people in this position, and not demonize them.
sorry for the heavy tone in this post, but i'm very passionate about issues of gender and sexuality. and i wish we all loved each other a little more.
p.s. if you happen to disagree with me, that's ok. you can believe what you want to believe. i'll try to be understanding, but i just hope you realize that we all choose our belief systems, but we do not choose who we are sexually attracted to.
Friday, February 4, 2011
fancy dinner party
here are the promised details of sunday's dinner party (click to enlarge):
unfortunately i forgot to take pictures of the food >_< but it was quite tasty. the pasta fresca recipe was of my own creation, inspired by a farfalle dish that my mother would often make (made with sirloin instead of sauteed veggies). i didn't make the salad, nor did i buy the bread, but that's the beauty of a dinner party!
the day after, i made a big pot of japanese style curry for myself. luckily i documented this meal!
i began by sauteing some yellow onion, potato chunks, and mushrooms. once browned, i added water to finish cooking everything all the way through. a few minutes before everything got to the desired level of doneness, i added a brick of soft tofu (cubed of course). i then added my seasonings, turned off the heat, and mixed until it looked like this:
i then poured it over a bowl of my yummy rice.
and here's the final product:
it was super delicious!
and last night, i experimented a bit. i had been wanting to find a way to use all these extra ramen seasoning packets i've been collecting. then i thought, "ramen seasoned potatoes—why not?" so i boiled a potato, drained it, pan fried it, added a ramen packet and some water, reduced it, and voila! zesty soy saucy potatoes.
it went quite well with rice and kimchi. but sadly, no pictures for this one (-_-)
see ya next time!
unfortunately i forgot to take pictures of the food >_< but it was quite tasty. the pasta fresca recipe was of my own creation, inspired by a farfalle dish that my mother would often make (made with sirloin instead of sauteed veggies). i didn't make the salad, nor did i buy the bread, but that's the beauty of a dinner party!
the day after, i made a big pot of japanese style curry for myself. luckily i documented this meal!
i began by sauteing some yellow onion, potato chunks, and mushrooms. once browned, i added water to finish cooking everything all the way through. a few minutes before everything got to the desired level of doneness, i added a brick of soft tofu (cubed of course). i then added my seasonings, turned off the heat, and mixed until it looked like this:
i then poured it over a bowl of my yummy rice.
and here's the final product:
it was super delicious!
and last night, i experimented a bit. i had been wanting to find a way to use all these extra ramen seasoning packets i've been collecting. then i thought, "ramen seasoned potatoes—why not?" so i boiled a potato, drained it, pan fried it, added a ramen packet and some water, reduced it, and voila! zesty soy saucy potatoes.
it went quite well with rice and kimchi. but sadly, no pictures for this one (-_-)
see ya next time!
Monday, January 31, 2011
trans-news and bathrooms!
some trans-updates (this is the only type of news i have these days):
1) got a free consultation from a local electrologist* (half-hour walk from my house) last saturday. aside from giving me information and what-not, she did about 20 hairs for free, and it was a lot less painful than i had anticipated. i'm going to start weekly (or biweekly, money-permitting) sessions this thursday. goodbye facial hair (after months/years of treatment >_<)!
*electrologists perform electrolysis—a method of permanent hair removal.
2) today i saw a doctor and got some blood drawn—all in preparation for starting hrt (hormone replacement therapy). assuming my thyroid works and i don't have diabetes, i'll be starting the 'mones next week! goodbye flat chest (after months/years of treatment >_<)!
that's it for news, but i think we need to have a little chat. my friend was asking me about this the other day, and being a pretty big issue i thought it post-worthy. the topic is bathrooms. public bathrooms are a tricky place for trannies.
stalls themselves are usually private (not talking about gas station bathrooms that commonly feature 'glory holes'), but going from out here to inside a stall requires passing through a gender-segregated gauntlet of sorts. if you look like a dude in a dress you won't be welcome in either bathroom. but holding it in isn't always an option.
so whaddaya do? a tranny friend of mine says that for her the bathroom transition happened on accident. she used the men's room until she kept getting told that she was in the wrong bathroom. but what if you don't get to a point where you "pass"?
should we have third gender bathrooms? should bathrooms be unisex? my personal struggle with bathroom anxiety continues. sometimes it's just easier to revert to boy-mode, but i hate feeling like i'm going in reverse. sure i can look and act like a boy—i've had 25 years of practice—but it doesn't feel like me. my core personality still may shine through, yes, but i don't feel honest; i don't feel whole.
with any luck, my bathroom change will happen on accident too. ^-^ "excuse me miss, this is the men's room." to which i'll respond "kyaaaa! oh my god, oh my god, oh my gawwwwwd...." as i make a mad dash for the door. someday. someday.
next time on tanuki talk...
...sami hosts a dinner party?! tune in to see who was on the guest list, what came up in conversation, and what was on the menu!
1) got a free consultation from a local electrologist* (half-hour walk from my house) last saturday. aside from giving me information and what-not, she did about 20 hairs for free, and it was a lot less painful than i had anticipated. i'm going to start weekly (or biweekly, money-permitting) sessions this thursday. goodbye facial hair (after months/years of treatment >_<)!
*electrologists perform electrolysis—a method of permanent hair removal.
2) today i saw a doctor and got some blood drawn—all in preparation for starting hrt (hormone replacement therapy). assuming my thyroid works and i don't have diabetes, i'll be starting the 'mones next week! goodbye flat chest (after months/years of treatment >_<)!
that's it for news, but i think we need to have a little chat. my friend was asking me about this the other day, and being a pretty big issue i thought it post-worthy. the topic is bathrooms. public bathrooms are a tricky place for trannies.
stalls themselves are usually private (not talking about gas station bathrooms that commonly feature 'glory holes'), but going from out here to inside a stall requires passing through a gender-segregated gauntlet of sorts. if you look like a dude in a dress you won't be welcome in either bathroom. but holding it in isn't always an option.
so whaddaya do? a tranny friend of mine says that for her the bathroom transition happened on accident. she used the men's room until she kept getting told that she was in the wrong bathroom. but what if you don't get to a point where you "pass"?
should we have third gender bathrooms? should bathrooms be unisex? my personal struggle with bathroom anxiety continues. sometimes it's just easier to revert to boy-mode, but i hate feeling like i'm going in reverse. sure i can look and act like a boy—i've had 25 years of practice—but it doesn't feel like me. my core personality still may shine through, yes, but i don't feel honest; i don't feel whole.
with any luck, my bathroom change will happen on accident too. ^-^ "excuse me miss, this is the men's room." to which i'll respond "kyaaaa! oh my god, oh my god, oh my gawwwwwd...." as i make a mad dash for the door. someday. someday.
next time on tanuki talk...
...sami hosts a dinner party?! tune in to see who was on the guest list, what came up in conversation, and what was on the menu!
Friday, January 28, 2011
my contributions to art
back in october i was stage manager for a production of chekhov's uncle vanya. at this moment i'm killing time while one video uploads to youtube and the next one renders (did i need a comma there? dammit, i hate how english deals with embedded clauses!).
so here are links to the vanya vids:
byu show:
orem library show:
act ii full vid
act iii full vid
when i put these all on youtube, i was reminded of a class project i did about 2 years ago. a very awesome classmate and i made a 25 minute video analyzing and parodying the various literary movements in post-edo (read: modern) japan. most segments were live-action spoofs of japanese classics, but my favorite segment was animated.
over thanksgiving break 2008, i animated (sara colored) the following clip and set it to nick drake's pink moon:
one thousand and one second stories. the animation follows the text very closely sans dialogue. this is adaptation, not parody (isn't japanese literature fun?).
in watching this, i've decided i should start doing fun and creative things again. i'd like to use the fleshed-out-stick-figure-with-a-hat character again—i think he really gels with my drawing style (primitive).
hopefully this time i'll be making more than just empty promises when i say i'm going to be creative again!
in watching this, i've decided i should start doing fun and creative things again. i'd like to use the fleshed-out-stick-figure-with-a-hat character again—i think he really gels with my drawing style (primitive).
hopefully this time i'll be making more than just empty promises when i say i'm going to be creative again!
Monday, January 24, 2011
too lazy for a post with content
i just wrote an informational page for tanuki talk as a sort of trans-primer. it talks about what it means to be transgender (or transsexual) in a general sense and then gives an overview of my own experience to date. it can be found under "tanuki info" on the left bar, which has become simpler—text links instead of image links.
in other news, life is good, and i love everyone! (except for nicholas cage)
in other news, life is good, and i love everyone! (except for nicholas cage)
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